The Naked News has beautiful women (and some men), stripping nude as they report the latest news, weather and sports. That sure beats the hell out of Wolf Blitzer's tired looking ass.
A Problem with News in the US
The term Entertainment News is an oxymoron, two opposite ideas that are joined together, like Jumbo Shrimp or Empowered Stripper. What's worse, a large portion of our society get their news from comedy shows like The Daily Show or Morning Joe.
The Real FakeNews at 11
How about a News show in the US that drops the hypocrisy altogether, and admits that it is an entertainment platform? Let's take a look inside and deconstruct TV News in America!
News Opener-Music (Audio by Voice Master) | "This is the Real FakeNews Report” |
Sandy: And I’m Sandy Feet. The latest on Michael Cohen in court, find out what the Judge
said that's raising eyebrows. And Presidents, Prostitutes and Pee-pee, new revelations
from the James Comey book! All that and more coming up on the Real FakeNews Report.
Jack: But first, here’s what’s happening in your world, if you happen to live where
something happened that was interesting enough to make the show.
(audio from Voice Master) | “… for the Real FakeNews, I’m Toluse Olorunnipa. Back to you.” |
Jack: Sandy, I think you just did.
Next up, Entertainment news with "back from TV Host exile" Billy Bush.
ISO Jack | Weather Segment |
2Shot | Weather Package |
Ah-huh
And have we got news for you
You better listen
Get ready, all you lonely girls
And leave those umbrellas at home
Alright
Humidity is rising (uh rising), barometer's getting low (oh low, girl)
According to all sources (what sources now), the street's the place to go (we better hurry up)
'Cause tonight for the first time (first time)
Just about half-past ten (half past ten)
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men (start raining men)
It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, amen
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
It's raining men, hallelujah
It's raining men, every specimen
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless…
Look out your window. That’s the weather.
Roshumba Williams.
Jack: Roshumba!
(audio from Voice Master) | “… for the Real FakeNews, I’m Roshumba Williams. Back to you.” |
little better about your miserable life.
Jack: And later, I’ll say the word, Pancake. That and more when we return.
(audio from Voice Master) | Anchor Rejoin: The Real FakeNews continues with Jack Goff, Sandy Feet, Toluse Olorunnipa, and Roshumba! |
Ok It's time for my anecdote. Once I was at an outdoor concert and I had to go really badly. I walked around for a long time but couldn't find a restroom. Just when I thought I couldn't hold it anymore, that is when I saw a Port-a-potty.
Correction
The entire news show has been corrected, we were wrong about everything. In fact everything you see on the News is speculation, guesswork and propaganda with the facts distorted to support our corporate editorial policy. We apologize for the error(s).
Correcting the previous correction: We wish to issue a correction to the previous correction. In the previous correction we stated that we were wrong about everything. We were wrong about that. We were correct about our own names.
Correction of the Previous correction, including the correction before that: Jack Goff and Sandy Feet are fake names.
FADE OUT MUSIC
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Check Out My Previous Posts:
https://steemit.com/humor/@davidpompeii/funny-observations-wisecracks-quips-and-commentary-but-no-goddamn-puns
What a farce, so why not take it further?
https://steemit.com/humor/@davidpompeii/trump-stormy-daniels-which-president-banged-the-hottest-chicks-and-other-signs-of-the-apocalypse