One of my favorite holidays. Memorial Day is a day to never forget and apparently also a good day to buy a mattress.
Come for the Lando, stay for the capes.
Michael Avenatti is like a bad used car salesman who talks through all of your objections, then looks confused when you don’t buy the shitty 2004 Buick Century.
I think to anecdotally sum up life in southern California, you only need to look to the guy, who drove his $80,000 Porsche to the Pacific Ocean, so that he could watch the sun rise.
University administrators brought in goats as stress relievers for students during final exams.
When I was in school to relieve stress we had to use old fashioned preparation. Apparently we were living in the dark ages and didn't know it. Why should I have had to handle my stress by knowing my shit when somebody could have brought me a goat!
Another Tesla on autopilot crashed into a parked car. Some political groups, trying to get payoffs from Elon Musk, are screaming about the "risk to the public" and calling for Tesla to shut down the autopilot program.
The response from these same political groups who were railing about risk to the public: (crickets)
a. He thought it was a horse.
b. The little bastards had it coming.
c. Because the internet.
d. He thought it was the Partridge Family.
e. He didn’t like the way it looked at him.
f. "It wasn’t me, the Warriors did it, they shot Cyrus!"
g. He was fuckin crazy.
I want to see a heist movie with an all female cast, where everybody onscreen is always worried that they might be pregnant, call it "Oceans Late."
There are two words I never have to hear again, Royal Wedding. The media talked about it so much, I actually believed something important was going on. It was the longest 2 seconds of my life.
Oh’ wait I’m sorry. I’m using logic and reason to call out bullshit. I think that is “mansplaining” these days.
Check out some of my previous posts:
Weekend Sports Dump
Under the Red Carpet at the Solo: A Star Wars Story premier
A Comedy Deconstruction of TV News