by David Pompeii
Do you deserve to be on
Santa's naughty list?
Its the thought that counts, right?
But, if you get aluminum tongs in your Christmas stocking when you hinted at an Hermes bag, then something must be wrong.
Are the people in your life terrible gift givers or did you get exactly what you deserved? How can you know for sure? Take the Yultide PompQuiz and find out if you deserve to be on Santa's naughty list!
Answer the questions below as truthfully as you can:
1) Do you re-gift?
a) No, I would never do that.
b) I have in the past, but only because I ran out of money.
c) What the hell am I going to do with some bullshit aluminum tongs!
2) When you exit the grocery store, where do you leave the shopping cart?
a) With that Latino dude in the orange vest.
b) In that cart holder thing, with the other carts.
c) I push it all the way to the parking lot exit until the wheels lock and then I leave it there
for the Latino dude in the orange vest.
3) Do you look up your Ex on social media out of “curiosity” but are secretly hoping that you are doing better in life than they are?
a) What? How did you think of that crazy mess?
b) I actually started to do that, realized it was silly and stopped myself.
c) They got fat! Ha! Glad I hit it back in the day!
4) When you see a mentally ill homeless person having an episode in a public place, do you:
a) Go over to them and try to help.
b) Call the authorities and wait on hold until finally, nobody comes to help them.
c) Steer clear of the crazy and hope that they don’t come near you, smelling all bad and looking crazy and shit. Damn! How the fuck does this happen in America? We go all around the world trying to help other motherfuckers but don’t do shit for the people that live here. This motherfucker right here needs some help and can’t get shit! And what the hell can I do for him? I can barely take care of my own family. How is my son going to go to college? This shit sucks. Oh good, here comes my bus.
5) Do you currently take any recreational drugs?
a) No
b) Yes
c) I never get high on my own supply.
6) When you make a mistake do you blame others?
a) Only when I can get away with it.
b) No, that wouldn't be fair.
c) Look, I put my phone down before that guy got hit. It wasn't my fault. He should’ve watched where he was walking. What an asshole!
7) You are surrounded by idiots and you have to let them know or they will never learn!
a) True
b) False
8) Do you pull out your cell phone while talking to someone else face to face?
a) No that would be rude.
b) Only when their conversation is just not stimulating enough.
c) I can multi-task.
9) Do you knock before entering a bathroom
a) Always, you can’t “unsee” your Grandma on the toilet.
b) Knock? I have to go really bad.
d) Yes, and I live alone.
10) Do you drive a Prius?
a) Yes, don’t all self-righteous pricks?
b) Do you mean one of those ugly little cars driven by self-righteous pricks?
Do you deserve to be on
Santa's naughty list?
Its the thought that counts, right?
But, if you get aluminum tongs in your Christmas stocking when you hinted at an Hermes bag, then something must be wrong.
Are the people in your life terrible gift givers or did you get exactly what you deserved? How can you know for sure? Take the Yultide PompQuiz and find out if you deserve to be on Santa's naughty list!
Answer the questions below as truthfully as you can:
1) Do you re-gift?
a) No, I would never do that.
b) I have in the past, but only because I ran out of money.
c) What the hell am I going to do with some bullshit aluminum tongs!
2) When you exit the grocery store, where do you leave the shopping cart?
a) With that Latino dude in the orange vest.
b) In that cart holder thing, with the other carts.
c) I push it all the way to the parking lot exit until the wheels lock and then I leave it there
for the Latino dude in the orange vest.
3) Do you look up your Ex on social media out of “curiosity” but are secretly hoping that you are doing better in life than they are?
a) What? How did you think of that crazy mess?
b) I actually started to do that, realized it was silly and stopped myself.
c) They got fat! Ha! Glad I hit it back in the day!
4) When you see a mentally ill homeless person having an episode in a public place, do you:
a) Go over to them and try to help.
b) Call the authorities and wait on hold until finally, nobody comes to help them.
c) Steer clear of the crazy and hope that they don’t come near you, smelling all bad and looking crazy and shit. Damn! How the fuck does this happen in America? We go all around the world trying to help other motherfuckers but don’t do shit for the people that live here. This motherfucker right here needs some help and can’t get shit! And what the hell can I do for him? I can barely take care of my own family. How is my son going to go to college? This shit sucks. Oh good, here comes my bus.
5) Do you currently take any recreational drugs?
a) No
b) Yes
c) I never get high on my own supply.
6) When you make a mistake do you blame others?
a) Only when I can get away with it.
b) No, that wouldn't be fair.
c) Look, I put my phone down before that guy got hit. It wasn't my fault. He should’ve watched where he was walking. What an asshole!
7) You are surrounded by idiots and you have to let them know or they will never learn!
a) True
b) False
8) Do you pull out your cell phone while talking to someone else face to face?
a) No that would be rude.
b) Only when their conversation is just not stimulating enough.
c) I can multi-task.
9) Do you knock before entering a bathroom
a) Always, you can’t “unsee” your Grandma on the toilet.
b) Knock? I have to go really bad.
d) Yes, and I live alone.
10) Do you drive a Prius?
a) Yes, don’t all self-righteous pricks?
b) Do you mean one of those ugly little cars driven by self-righteous pricks?
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