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Thank you The Sports Dump for posting my video rant.
Three UCLA basketball players — including LiAngelo Ball, the brother of Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball — were arrested for shoplifting during the team's trip to China on Tuesday.
David Pompeii has some thoughts about that.
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By David Pompeii Pomposity 
 (L to R) Paul Preston, David Pompeii, Karen Volpe, Adam Witt From The Movie Guys Website: Showcast Episode 83: Stand-up comic and all-round hilarious guy David Pompeii joins The Movie Guys for a big 4-movie weekend’s worth of previews, including “The Wedding Ringer”, “Paddington”, “Blackhat” and the wide release of “American Sniper”. Also, angry Kevin Hart tweets, great stories about Key & Peele and “The Godfather” and a rousing version of Karen’s Birthdays.   My Take On This Week's Headlines: by David Pompeii Chris Rock and Wife of 19 Years Divorce--Pre Nup Recently Expired My 2 Cents: Damn. High School Girls Basket Ball Coach Suspended After Winning 161-2 My 2 Cents: The Losing Coach was hired by the New York Nicks. Whitest Oscar Nominees Since 1995 My 2 Cents: Here is the solution. The Academy should give one Oscar per race, with each award getting equal airtime. The broadcast would last 4 days and the right movies still wouldn't win. Al Sharpton Calls An Emergency Meeting About Oscars My 2 Cents: Black Americans face high unemployment, crime, poverty, racism, and discrimination. But I'll be able to sleep easy once I know what we are going to do about those damn Academy Award nominations! NBC: Ending Comedy Drought Is Top Priority My 2 Cents: Now that is funny! US Attorney General Bans Asset Seizure My 2 Cents: Now that cops are banned from stealing your houses and luxury cars, they can devote more time to serving, protecting, and killing Black people. Michael Sam Says There Are Lots Of Gay Men In The NFL My 2 Cents: Now there is one less. Google To Stop Selling Google Glass Eyewear Amid Privacy Concerns My 2 Cents: You people who are worried about being secretly video taped in public must not know you can already buy hidden body cameras on ebay for $50 bucks. World Expresses Shock At Attack On Charlie Hedbo Newspaper My 2 Cents: Saddened yes, angry sure, but shocked? The same Newspaper was fire bombed in 2011 after printing cartoons about the Prophet Mohammed. A more accurate headline would be, "World Not Surprised By Crazy People Anymore".   by David Pompeii Do you deserve to be on Santa's naughty list? Its the thought that counts, right? But, if you get aluminum tongs in your Christmas stocking when you hinted at an Hermes bag, then something must be wrong. Are the people in your life terrible gift givers or did you get exactly what you deserved? How can you know for sure? Take the Yultide PompQuiz and find out if you deserve to be on Santa's naughty list! Answer the questions below as truthfully as you can: 1) Do you re-gift? a) No, I would never do that. b) I have in the past, but only because I ran out of money. c) What the hell am I going to do with some bullshit aluminum tongs! 2) When you exit the grocery store, where do you leave the shopping cart? a) With that Latino dude in the orange vest. b) In that cart holder thing, with the other carts. c) I push it all the way to the parking lot exit until the wheels lock and then I leave it there for the Latino dude in the orange vest. 3) Do you look up your Ex on social media out of “curiosity” but are secretly hoping that you are doing better in life than they are? a) What? How did you think of that crazy mess? b) I actually started to do that, realized it was silly and stopped myself. c) They got fat! Ha! Glad I hit it back in the day! 4) When you see a mentally ill homeless person having an episode in a public place, do you: a) Go over to them and try to help. b) Call the authorities and wait on hold until finally, nobody comes to help them. c) Steer clear of the crazy and hope that they don’t come near you, smelling all bad and looking crazy and shit. Damn! How the fuck does this happen in America? We go all around the world trying to help other motherfuckers but don’t do shit for the people that live here. This motherfucker right here needs some help and can’t get shit! And what the hell can I do for him? I can barely take care of my own family. How is my son going to go to college? This shit sucks. Oh good, here comes my bus. 5) Do you currently take any recreational drugs? a) No b) Yes c) I never get high on my own supply. 6) When you make a mistake do you blame others? a) Only when I can get away with it. b) No, that wouldn't be fair. c) Look, I put my phone down before that guy got hit. It wasn't my fault. He should’ve watched where he was walking. What an asshole! 7) You are surrounded by idiots and you have to let them know or they will never learn! a) True b) False 8) Do you pull out your cell phone while talking to someone else face to face? a) No that would be rude. b) Only when their conversation is just not stimulating enough. c) I can multi-task. 9) Do you knock before entering a bathroom a) Always, you can’t “unsee” your Grandma on the toilet. b) Knock? I have to go really bad. d) Yes, and I live alone. 10) Do you drive a Prius? a) Yes, don’t all self-righteous pricks? b) Do you mean one of those ugly little cars driven by self-righteous pricks?  |
EditorDavid Pompeii is a Stand Up Comic, Actor and Comedy writer. Archives
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